What is the secret history of Christmas? How did Superman defeat the KKK? Could George Washington really have been bulletproof?
Our mundane lives are filled with odd facts, strange conspiracies, and secret origins. My new blog, Time for Backstory, is dedicated to a weekly exploration of the weird history in our mundane lives. In honor of the holiday season, the inaugural post delves into the phrase “Happy holidays” and the very racist history behind the supposed “War on Christmas.”
Santa Claus is a pretty powerful guy. Not only is he the ultimate moral arbiter for billions of people across the globe, but he’s developed an ever-increasing array of magical powers. He started as a Turkish monk who had a penchant for charity, and is now an immortal being with a flying sled.
No matter what social obstacles come up over the years, it seems that Santa has a way of overcoming them. Chimneys go out of style? He finds another magical way of entering people’s homes. Surveillance too tough on a planet with billions of people? Now he has legions of shelf-dwelling elves to aid him.
Santa’s amazing powers are a testament to parents’ creativity. Every time kids discover a seeming impossibility, we whip up something new to keep the game going. It’s only a matter of time before the guy gets a magical flying workshop to counteract the problem of an ever-shrinking North Pole.
Since I’m a big fan of tabletop role-playing games, I can explain Santa’s power inflation as a simple result of him leveling up. He now has centuries of experience, a lot of different allies, and some magical items that he’s accumulated over a long career.
Greystone Valley is home to many different holiday celebrations, but few capture the imagination as completely as Christmas does. It is said that the mysterious wizard who created the valley was friends with Saint Nicholas, and it is through the wizard’s magic that many Christmas miracles are performed.
Charlie Brooks 